nara. ☆ (naraism) wrote in chukgook,
nara. ☆
naraism
chukgook

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confessions

confessions
jiho/kyung
4416 w, nc-17
"you sound like a homophobe."

confessions
i had to push the confessions down my throat

A weary sigh escaped Minhyuk's plump lips as he eyed the hunched over form opposite of him, head buried in his long and thin arms. For a brief moment Minhyuk wondered if Jiho didn't feel at least a bit embarassed for acting like a girl on her period in public, but brushed the thought off as the latter finally lifted his head to look at the older man. "You fucking knew that he was gay, right?" It almost sounded like a threat, making Minhyuk furrow his eyebrows at his childhood friend.

"I didn't think that you'd figure it out anytime soon," said Minhyuk and slurped on his strawberry milkshake, his eyes following the group of beautiful and young girls with long, bare legs that passed by until they were out of his sight.

"So, how did you find out?" Minhyuk asked, turned back to Jiho and completely ignored the murderous glare that was being shot at him.

Jiho leaned forward to take a sip from his iced coffee, sighing as the really unique taste of the most famous iced coffee around Myeongdong spread in his mouth. Coffee always calmed down his nerves.

"Oh, you know, I walked in on him getting fucked by some guy," he said around his straw in a fake nonchalant voice, not forgetting to wave his hand at Minhyuk.

He was obviously really pissed off, not only because that his best friend was gay and nobody told him anything about it, but also because Minhyuk didn't take this whole thing seriously.

"Oh, you know, Kyung gets fucked by a different dude every other week," Minhyuk mimicked and yelped out in pain as Jiho swiftly kicked him in the shin under the table. "That hurt, you bastard," the red-haired man mumbled and rubbed the sore spot.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now? This is so weird, I can't look him in the eye without thinking that he willingly takes a cock up his ass," Jiho rambled, slightly flailing his arms by his sides every time Minhyuk's eyes would wander off to somewhere else other than the young man's face, probably checking some hot girls out. "Hey, are you even listening to what I'm saying?"

Minhyuk sighed, "Are you a homophobe?"

Looking startled for a short moment, Jiho quickly regained his composure. "What? No, I'm not a homophobe," he said and Minhyuk grinned like a Cheshire cat; it sounded like Jiho wanted to convince himself.

"You sound like one, though."

"You're not helping at all," mumbled Jiho, resting his elbow on the edge of the table and cradling his chin in the palm of his hand.

He should've asked someone else for advice, maybe Yukwon. Or even better, Taeil. Jiho only noticed now how stupid of him it was to actually think that Minhyuk would help him; that guy had never been interested in the problems of his friends

Minhyuk crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes, ignoring the small pout on Jiho's lips. "To be honest, I don't even know what you need help with," he said and arched a brow. Jiho would've thought that Minhyuk really didn't know if it wasn't for the cocky grin on the latters face.

There was this awkward churning feeling in the pit of Jiho's stomach as the older man kept grinning and starring at him, obviously amused by the whole situation.

"I... I don't know how to act around him, okay? I always thought that he was straight and I tried to hook him up with a girl every now and then... Oh god, I feel like a fucking retard," Jiho said, voice cracking with anger, "I didn't talk to him for days!" He buried his face in his hands and tried to calm himself down. "This is bullshit."

"Stop being a pussy," groaned Minhyuk and gnawed on his straw. "Call and talk to him, but don't avoid him like the pest. Just because he's gay doesn't mean that you're not friends anymore, right?"

Jiho peeked through his fingers at Minhyuk before grabbing his glass of iced coffe and taking a sip at it through the straw. "Oh, yeah, that's a good idea! I should just call him and say 'So, I saw you getting fucked by a dude. Are you by chance gay?' like it's nothing," Jiho said, irony dripping in his voice. Obviously, Minhyuk was not really capable of empathizing with other people if he thought that speaking to Kyung would be that easy.

"Does he know that you know that he's gay?" asked Minhyuk, not really being surprised as Jiho shook his head. "No, he didn't see me walking in, that's why he's always trying to contact me. I told him that I was busy and to not call me anymore."

"You can't avoid him forever, you know."

"Yeah, I know."




Jiho looked up from the rap lyrics that he was writing as he heard a loud knock on the door. "Jihoon!" Jiho called only to remember that his roommate was visiting his family for the weekend. Eyes fixed on the scribbled-down words on the crumbled sheet of paper, he pondered over the option to just ignore whoever was on the door and continue with finishing the lyrics.

After the knocking got more persistent, Jiho decided to answer the door. He stood up from his seat and put on the plain white shirt that he had discarded right after walking into his dorm.

He hurried to open the door, revealing Kyung with a scowl on his face and his fist in mid-air. There was a short moment of silence, both young men starring intently at each other's eyes before Kyung slowly lowered his fist and exhaled deeply.

"Done playing hide and seek?" he grumbled as he brushed past a shocked Jiho. "Uhm, hey," Jiho greeted awkwardly and watched the slightly older man letting himself fall back on Jihoon's neatly made bed.

"You're a big fat ass liar," said Kyung without directly looking at his friend.

Jiho didn't know what to say to that, since Kyung was right, so he just silently returned to his desk and took the pen, trying to ignore the eyes that burned a hole into the back of his head and concentrate on the second verse of the rap lyrics.

A somewhat uncomfortable silence settled between them; the sound of pen scribbling against paper and Kyung's soft breathing permeating the small room.

The younger man gnawed on the end of his pen as he read the lyrics that he wrote, narrowing his eyes every time when he would notice that his words didn't even make sense and circle the parts that he didn't like and wanted to change. After Jiho reached the end of his lyrics, he decided that this was his worst work in the last few months. He exhaled with frustation and scrunched up the paper, throwing it into the trashcan.

"Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Kyung asked, his voice breaking into the silence, as Jiho took out his notebook to look at the other lyrics that he didn't finish yet.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Kyung sighed and stood up, walking over to Jiho. "You've been avoiding me for days, ignored my calls and messages, and lied to me about not having time and being busy," the black-haired man said. "But I am busy," Jiho said without looking at Kyung, nodding towards the many papers scattered on his desk. "Don't give me that bullshit. You had time to meet up with Minhyuk and going to partys but not to answer to any of my messages?"

"What the hell is your problem? We don't have to see and talk to each other every day, Kyung," Jiho said and stood up from his seat. Kyung furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed Jiho's shoulder, turning the taller man around to look him in the face before he could run away. "You have to tell me the problem so that I can fix it."

"There's nothing to fix."

"Why? There's obviou-"

"It's because you're a faggot, okay?" Jiho snapped at his best friend, trying not to take his words back as he saw something akin to hurt flash across Kyung's face before it was swiftly replaced by anger.

Jiho felt his heart beating faster as Kyung lowered his head and balled his hands into tight fists, slightly shaking with anger.

"Fuck you," said Kyung under his breath and stomped out of the dorm, slamming the door shut behind him.

Jiho sighed as he walked to his bed and let himself fall flat on his back. He stared at the ceiling above his head for what seemed like hours before the phone under his pillow started vibrating, indicating that he got a new text message.

He grabbed his phone and opened the inbox, deleting the countless unread text messages from Kyung before opening the new message that he got from Minhyuk.

From: Minhyuk did u talk to kyung

Jiho didn't even bother to type out an answer.




The smell of weed and cheap booze filled Jiho's nostrils as he entered Taeil's parent's house, greeting the drunk people that stumbled around and the lovers that were too busy with kissing to greet back while making his way to the living room where the voice from Jihoon came from. He stopped at the doorway and grinned when he saw the cross-legged circle on the floor his friends had formed.

Jaehyo was the first one to notice the new arrived person, "Oh, look, there's Jiho."

Jiho walked over to the circle and nudged Jihoon's side with his feet. "Scoot over," he said and Jihoon nodded, making room for the older male. Jiho sat down between Jihoon and Yukwon and looked at his friends' faces, some of them seemed more high than usual. Especially Taeil.


They passed around a joint while Jaehyo told an unusual and funny story, everyone breaking out in contagious laughter, but Jiho didn't really pay attention to what Jaehyo was telling or why they were all laughing. He looked around the room, his eyes searching for something, or more like someone, and Minhyuk seemed to know what made Jiho so antsy.

"Yah, Jiho, come with me for a second," Minhyuk said and stood up from the hard floor. Jiho took one last drag from the joint before passing it over to Yukwon and standing up. "What is it?" asked Jiho irritated as Minhyuk suddenly grabbed his wrist and walked out into the large garden behind the house.

"You didn't talk to Kyung, right?" Minhyuk said when they came to a halt in front of the tool shed. Jiho shrugged. "I did," he said in a calm voice and huffed when the wind whipped through his dark auburn hair.

"And?"

"I said that he's a faggot."

Minhyuk mentally facepalmed. "Why the hell did you say that?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because it's the truth," said Jiho and arched an eyebrow.

"With 'call and talk' I didn't mean to insult him."

Jiho just shrugged again.

"Look, Kyung's here right now, maybe you should go and talk to him again, but this time please don't use words like faggot, alright?" Minhyuk patted Jiho's shoulder in encouragement and smiled.

Jiho stood still for a moment, thinking of just going inside again and drink his sorrows away, maybe hook up with a girl and have some fun, before he sighed and nodded his head. "Okay," Jiho mumbled and brushed the hand on his shoulder off.

Jiho knew that everything would turn worse if he didn't talk and apologize to Kyung now; he didn't want to lose his best friend just because of a small fight. It would take him time to accept the fact that Kyung was gay, but if that meant to laugh, rap and to do stupid things with the smaller man again, he'd do it.

He walked into the living room again; his friends still listening and laughing like crazy to Jaehyo's story. "Hey, guys, do you know where Kyung is?" Jiho asked and interrupted Jaehyo who shot him a glare. "He went home with a dude," Yukwon chirped.

Jiho tried to convince himself that it was not jealousy he felt.




"Now he turned the tables on you, huh?" said Minhyuk and took a long drag from his cigarette. Jiho nodded.

"What are you going to do now?" Yukwon asked suddenly who had stayed silent through the whole conversation until now, a questioning look on his face. "If only I knew what to say and how to act," Jiho said and watched his roommate feeding Taeil with disgust.

Jaehyo grinned, "Why don't you buy him a bouquet of flowers? He'd love it, since, you know, he's g-"

"Stop it, Jaehyo," Taeil warned and cut the younger off, a frown forming on his face.

"I was just joking."

"No, just, shut up."

The air around them filled with awkward silence which was only broken by Yukwon clearing his throat repeatedly.

"Honestly, Jiho," Jihoon began when he noticed that nobody wanted to start speaking again, "Grow some balls already. It's like you and Kyung hyung are having a stupid lover's quarrel and it's really pissing me off." The youngest of the group didn't even blink once as all eyes of fell on him.

Minhyuk tapped his fingers on the table they were sitting at, looking slightly bored and annoyed by the conversation. "I completely agree with you, Jihoonie," he said with a small smile tugging at his lips and stood up. "Now that we talked about Jiho's problems, why don't we go out and have some fun? So, who's up for karaoke?"




Jiho read the text message he just got again, just to make sure that his eyes weren't playing tricks on him.

From: Yukwon seems like kyung has bf

The young man fiddled with his phone, not entirely sure if he should just act like he never read that message or storm out of his dorm to find Kyung's faceless boyfriend and beat him to a pulp.

From: Jiho how do u know?

It didn't take long for Yukwon to answer.

From: Yukwon taeil and jaehyo saw them together having a date at the amusement park

"What the fuck? Amusement park?" Jiho grumbled. "Are they high school students or what?"




Jiho felt like a idiot while waiting for Kyung at his favorite coffee shop that he visited nearly every day. He wasn't quite sure how long he had been sitting there, trying to take as small sips as possible of his coffee to not stand up again and order another cup. He really didn't want to pay for something he didn't even want to drink.

After waiting for another half hour, Jiho decided to give up and try again another day. "Maybe that's just my luck," he mumbled and drowned down his coffee, cringing at the bitter taste on his taste buds.

"One black coffee, please."

Jiho's eyes widened. He'd recognize that voice anywhere.

He looked at the direction where the familiar voice came from and smiled as he saw Kyung standing at the counter, patiently waiting for his order while typing on his phone. For a short moment, Jiho wondered with whom Kyung was texting with, seeing the wide crooked grin plastered on his face, but brushed the thought off quickly. It was probably one of their friends.

Jiho tilted his fitted cap forwards over his eyes, just in case Kyung might look his way, and stood up from the table he was sitting at. Better wait for him outside, he thought and walked out of the shop.

The sun shone brightly down on Jiho as he stood in front of the coffee shop, his mind full of questions. He didn't know how to approach Kyung, what to say to him or how to act without coming across like a total douchebag. It still seemed so surreal to him that Kyung was interested in the same sex.

He asked himself why he had never noticed that his best friend was gay and why Kyung didn't told him about it.

A wave of nervousness washed over Jiho as he saw Kyung walking out of the coffee shop a few minutes later. Jiho hid his face behind his hands, acting like he was exhausted and tired, as the shorter male briefly looked around.

He didn't even know why he was hiding.

By the time Jiho lowered his hands, Kyung had already disappeared through the streets. He let out a frustrated sigh before storming down the street, his eyes searching for a man with black raven hair wearing spectacles.

It didn't take long for him to find Kyung.

Just as Jiho opened his mouth to call his best friend, he noticed that Kyung was not alone. He swallowed and quickly hid behind a corner, peeking around to take a closer look at the man that was standing so so close to Kyung. They looked somewhat comfortable with each other and Jiho had to mentally kick himself as he thought that the man had probably been in Kyung's bed before.

He leaned forward to hear what they were talking about.

"I don't have time right now, sorry, hyung," Kyung said in a calm voice while taking a step back from the slightly taller man. "Oh, okay," the man said, "We should go out for a drink sometime." Kyung nodded before they said goodbye.

Jiho bit on his bottom lip and shoved his hands into his pockets while he eyed Kyung carrying on walking down the street. "Damn, I feel like a psycho stalker," Jiho mumbled under his breath and counted the seconds before he came out of his hiding place. "Park Kyung!"

Kyung looked over his shoulder at hearing his name. "Jiho?"

Jiho didn't waste any time to run up to Kyung, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves as he came to a halt in front of him. "Hey," he greeted and scratched the back of his neck.

"Do you... where are you going now?" Jiho asked after he realized that Kyung wouldn't greet him back. "Dorm," Kyung said. Jiho nodded and lowered his eyes, feeling like a complete idiot.

"Look, if you don't have anyt-"

"N-no! Wait, please. It's just... I wanted to apologize. For, you know, ..."

"For calling me a faggot?" Kyung finished his sentence for him. Jiho nodded again.

Kyung sighed and kicked a small stone. "How did you find out?" he asked, making Jiho tear his gaze away from the ground.

"What?"

"I mean me being gay."

There was a short moment of silence, before Jiho sighed and gave in. "I wanted to borrow something from you and your was door not locked, so I just walked in and saw you and him on th-"

"Okay, you don't need to speak any further. I understand," Kyung said and Jiho had to chuckle when he saw the blush creeping up the shorter man's face.

"Are you forgiving me now?" Jiho asked and watched Kyung turn around to hide his blush.

"Stupid question."

Jiho grinned from ear to ear. "So... who was that guy just now?" he asked only to earn a punch on the shoulder. "Did you follow me? Stalker," Kyung said and furrowed his brows, turning around and walking away from the taller man. "You ignored my messages and calls, you know," Jiho remembered him.

A small smile played on Kyung's lips, "Yeah, you deserved that."

They arrived at Kyung's dorm after something fifteen minutes later.

"Where's your roommate?" Jiho questioned when he didn't see the guy named Chansung. "I don't know," mumbled Kyung, toeing off his shoes and climbing into his bed. The younger smiled and followed his best friend suit. Kyung smiled and placed his head on Jiho's chest, relishing in the feeling of Jiho treading fingers through his hair.

The two best friends laid together on the single size bed for what seemed like hours. Both of them didn't dare to speak, not wanting to ruin the beautiful moment together, but there had been a question bugging Jiho for quite a while now.

"Kyung?"

He hummed to let him know that he was listening.

"Do you... have a boyfriend?" Jiho asked into the silence. Kyung slowly lifted his head, black eyes scanning Jiho's face for a moment, and then with a stupid grin he looked away, burying his head in the crook of Jiho's neck. "Why do you ask?" he breathed against sticky skin.

Jiho felt a lump in his throat as he tried to answer. "W-well, because, you know, I think I might have... how to say it..."

"Shut up, you talk too much," Jiho heard Kyung say before hot lips were clumsily pressed against his.




Surprisingly enough, Kyung and Jiho made it to the dorm without tearing each other's clothes off in Taeil's car.

Kyung moaned into the kiss when he felt Jiho's slightly calloused hands explore his skin under the dark grey shirt. They tripped over each other's feet and fell onto Jiho's messy bed in a tangled heap of limbs, and Kyung couldn't help but laugh at Jiho nearly hitting his forehead on the headboard. Jiho grinned and latched his mouth on Kyung's exposed neck, leaving his marks for everyone to see.

"Take it off," Kyung said and hooked his fingers in Jiho's belt loops, lightly tugging at it.

It only took one minute before they were both naked.

Jiho's breath hitched as he looked down at the man under him, his hand sliding up and down the hard erection while his other hand was cupping his balls, rolling them in his fingers. He wanted to savor this moment, just pause for a moment and save this image of his boyfriend laying on his back, all ready and horny for him, somewhere back in his mind, but Kyung's demanding rolls of his hips were really distracting.

"Take it slow, we have the whole night," Jiho breathed against Kyung's swollen lips and aligned their hips, taking both of their cocks in his hand and stroking gently.

Kyung cursed under his breath and catched Jiho's bottom lip between his front teeth before letting go again. "Please, just fuck me, please," Kyung begged and circled his arms around Jiho's neck. Jiho wetted his lips with his tongue and shook his head, peppering open-mothed kisses along the line of his jaw to his ear. "Just wait a little bit longer," Jiho said and let his tongue dart out to lick the shell of Kyung's ear.

Kyung scraped his dull fingernails against Jiho's back, chest heaving."Come on, do it already," he gasped and rutted mindlessly against Jiho. "Please, please, please. I

want you in me now."

Jiho wanted to take things slow, to make love instead of just having sex, but he couldn't resist Kyung's pleas any longer. They had plenty enough time for making love later. He released their aching erections and climbed off the bed, opening the middle drawer of the side table to take out a small bottle of lube and condoms that Jihoon was keeping for his nightly activities with Taeil and carefully climbed back onto the bed.

Kyung panted out an 'Oh, fuck' as he felt Jiho's hand on his cock again. "Spread your legs wider for me a bit," Jiho said and Kyung did what his boyfriend requested.

A shudder ran down Kyung's spine when slick fingertips were pressing against hole, slowly circling the puckered rim. "Do you want it?" Jiho asked and looked up to Kyung who nodded eagerly. "Slut," Jiho said and smirked before pushing a finger in to the first knuckle.

Kyung let out a whine and clawed at Jiho's upper arms, trying to relax around the finger inside him.

"Should I-"

"N-no, just go on," Kyung gritted out, slowly letting go of the younger's arm when he felt a pair of wet lips against his own try to distract him from the uncomfortableness and slight pain.

Kyung didn't even notice that Jiho had already worked a second finger inside him.

"Please, fuck me already," begged Kyung again and grinned in victory when Jiho slowly pulled out his fingers to reach for the condom. Jiho greedily watched Kyung jerking off while he rolled the condom down his straining erection, lathering it with lube.

Jiho lined his dick up with Kyung's twitching hole and smirked as Kyung wrapped his legs around his waist, pulling him in closer.

Jiho watched in something akin to fascination as Kyung opened up around the wide bulbous head of his cock, trying not to just ram himself inside in one go. The thight heat around his erection had Jiho moaning and throwing his head back, and he only stopped when he felt his balls rest against the curve of Kyung's ass.

"Fuck," Kyung gritted through his clenched teeth.

The younger just nodded his head and grabbed Kyung's hips, trembling with effort to not fuck his boyfriend into the matress, even though he knew that this was exactly what he wanted from him.

Kyung rolled his hips, drawing out a moan from Jiho's lips. "Move already."

Jiho grinned and pulled almost all the way, grinning at the whine Kyung was giving him, before slamming back in, setting a brutal pace.

"Ah, yes, faster, please, harder," Kyung spurred the taller man on. Jiho bit on his bottom lip and furrowed his brows in concentration, slamming so hard and fast that it had the headboard banging against the wall whith each thrust.

Jiho reached for Kyung's neglected dick and started to jerk him off. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Kyung chanted as he clawed at Jiho's shoulders, feeling the orgasm builduing in the pit of his stomach. Jiho gulped around the lump in his throat and rubbed his thumb just under the head of Kyung's dick, watching his black haired boyfriend spilling his seed on his stomach and chest. Jiho kept stroking Kyung until he came down from his high.

"Beautiful," Jiho murmured and eyed his boyfriend; face flushed red, black eyes blown with lust, painted with his own come.

"Come on me, Jiho," Kyung panted.

Jiho didn't need to be told twice.

He yanked the condom away and stroked himself to the sight of his boyfriend swirling his fingers in his own come and licking at it like it was the most delicious thing on the earth. "Fuck," he groaned, coming hard on Kyung's stomach.

"Kinky bastard."



a/n A crappy Zikyung fanfiction that doesn't make any sense, yay! 8D /throws confetti I just wanted to share this, because maybe there's someone out there who wants to read this crappy fic D: (I'm looking at you, Pia!) Yes, it's rushed and I know that Kyung forgave Jiho too easily. Deal with it l0l I didn't re-read because I'm lazy as fuck so there might be many some mistakes. Sorry!
Tags: block b, p: jiho/kyung, r: nc-17
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